


Into the Light

by KittyBandit



Series: Laven Week 2017 [1]
Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Canon Compliant, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sex, handjobs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-07
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-12-12 12:23:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11736969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KittyBandit/pseuds/KittyBandit
Summary: Laven Week Day 1 - After a rough battle, Allen confesses to Lavi.





	Into the Light

**Author's Note:**

> Day 1 - (Ace of Spades) Realizations, Beginnings, Missed opportunities

Every surface of their rented room felt sticky with condensation from the damp heat that lingered for days on end. The wooden table and chairs swelled from the humidity, and the sheets on the beds were uncomfortably moist to the touch. The weather was miserable, irritating, and Lavi’s wounds weren’t improving his mood either.

He and Allen had just returned from a battle with some Akuma, dispatching the monsters and securing the Innocence they were after. It was too late to catch the train back to the Black Order, so they decided to stay one more night at the inn and take care of their wounds.

Allen managed to make it out with only a few minor cuts and bruises, but Lavi wasn’t quite as lucky. He’d taken a hard knock to the head and almost blacked out from it. Luckily, Allen took care of the remaining Akuma before they could do any more damage. Lavi didn’t think the injury was anything to worry about, and refused to see the physician, even with Allen’s badgering him to go.

He should’ve listened to Allen.

It wasn’t that he felt particularly awful, aside from the throbbing pain in his head and the slight dizziness. But Allen insisted on taking care of his injury with more care and precision than Lavi would’ve bothered with for himself. He forced Lavi to sit on the edge of the bed, the first aid supplies scattered next to him.

“Al, I don’t really think this is necessary…”

“You’re still bleeding, you know,” Allen said, wiping the dirt, sweat, and blood off his forehead with a clean, wet rag before grabbing a roll of gauze and some ointment. “And I still think you should’ve gone to the physician to get stitches.”

“It’s not that bad,” Lavi insisted, wincing as Allen hit a tender spot.

Shaking his head, Allen swiped the ointment over the wound and taped gauze over it. “It’s bad enough.” He finished up with the wound after a few tense minutes, then gathered the supplies and stuffed them into his pack. He wouldn’t look at Lavi, eyes focusing on the bag as he fastened it closed.

The air between them grew tense, palpable enough that it left Lavi feeling uneasy. He watched Allen, judging his movements, analyzing each and every little tick and nuance. Something was wrong, but Lavi couldn’t pinpoint the issue.

Hoping to alleviate the tension, he smiled. “Don’t worry. I’m fine. I don’t need you to take care of me.”

Silver eyes focused on him in that moment, narrowed and sharp. Lavi scooted back on the mattress, needing those spare few inches to separate them. He couldn’t look away, his gaze too intense. “Ah… Sorry, Al. I didn’t mean to—”

“Lavi, you could’ve _died_. Do you realize how close you were to…” Allen paused, taking a breath. He looked like he was about to cry. “I almost lost you.”

The admission struck Lavi hard, like a sledgehammer to his chest. He hadn’t realized Allen was so worried about him. He didn’t know what to say, how to respond to the hurt in Allen’s eyes, tears wavering on the precipice of his eyelashes and threatening to spill at any moment.

“S-Sorry,” he repeated, shoulders hunched up as unease washed over him like a hot steam. “I’ll be more careful next t—” Lavi didn’t get to finish his sentence, not with Allen’s lips on his. Soft, honest, pure. Allen’s hands rested against Lavi’s shoulders with a feather-light touch. Lavi didn’t know what to do, and he was certain he forgot how to breathe in that moment. He sat there, letting Allen kiss him, lips unmoving.

After a moment, Allen pulled away, wiping at his eyes as he did so. Lavi stared up at him, still shocked. “Forgive me,” Allen said, eyes trained back on Lavi once he’d cleared his tears. “I… shouldn’t have done that without asking.” He didn’t step back, still hovering painfully close to the redhead.

“Al… What was that about?” Lavi asked, cheeks burning as brightly as his hair. He licked his lips, mouth dry and throat tight.

Allen combed his fingers through his tousled hair, sighing. He looked anxious, off-kilter. “Lavi, you don’t know… You were close to dying tonight.” Lavi watched him, his heart thrumming in his chest. “After you hit your head, an Akuma almost gunned you down. Had I been even a second slower, you would’ve died.”

Lavi blinked, still staring up at Allen. He recalled hitting his head, and the painful disorientation that had occurred just after. But by the time he’d regained his bearings, Allen had finished off the rest of the Akuma. He hadn’t seen what had happened in those short moments, but it had shook Allen more than he realized.

And his lips still burned from that sweet, sweet kiss.

“It just hit me then,” Allen said, “That you could’ve died… Just _gone_. And I never had a chance… I never told you how I felt.”

_How he felt_ … The words stole the breath from Lavi’s lungs, charmed it out of his body like a witch, like a phantom. Was Allen saying what he thought he was…? That he…? Lavi’s mind shut down in that moment, unable to comprehend what was happening.

The silence gave Allen a chance to keep talking, shifting from one foot to another anxiously. “I know I shouldn’t have sprung it on your like that… But seeing you almost die, seeing that nasty gash in your forehead… It got to me.” Allen’s arms hung at his sides, hands clenched tight. “I want you to know how much you mean to me.”

“A-Allen…” Lavi managed to spit out, his mouth dry as a desert. He didn’t even know how he felt about this. He couldn’t form any of his emotions into coherent thoughts, let alone words. Allen had feelings for him?

And then Allen smiled, and Lavi felt his heart dip down into stomach, burning in the acid as he was blinded by the sweet, loving gaze. “Lavi, if you don’t feel the same way, it’s fine. I just needed you to know, just in case.” His lips pursed before he could articulate the rest of his statement. “If something happened to either of us before I could confess, I would never forgive myself.”

Allen’s reassurances calmed Lavi’s fluttering heart, if even for a few short moments. He let out a soft, nervous chuckle. “Don’t know if you’ll be able to care much of anything if you were the one to bite it, Al.”

“Trust me, my spirit would haunt you over it,” Allen replied, the smile on his face growing.

“We don’t want that, do we?” Lavi replied, his gaze resting on Allen’s lips, just shy of staring at his eyes. He couldn’t meet those intense, silver eyes—not quite yet.

“No, we don’t.” Allen shuffled again, that same anxious energy emanating from him in waves. He fiddled with the hem of his shirt, tugging at the fabric. “Ah, anyway… Please take care of yourself. I know we’re in a war and we can’t always keep our promises, but… please try to be more careful.”

The tightness in his throat came back tenfold, and Lavi still couldn’t look into Allen’s eyes. “You shouldn’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.”

“I hope so, Lavi,” Allen said, his voice dropping lower, sadder. “I don’t want to lose you, too.”

“You won’t,” Lavi whispered, his chest constricting tightly. He leaned in closer, the concern radiating from Allen more comforting than anything else. It felt nice to be cared for, to be wanted, to be fretted over. He knew Allen cared about everyone, but to have it directed solely at him left Lavi warm and weak inside. He knew he shouldn’t be this affected.

Then, a thought crossed his mind—a painful revelation that he couldn’t voice. Even if both he and Allen survived this war, Allen would still lose him. Lavi couldn’t stay at the Black Order, not when he had his Bookman duties. His whole life he’d been training to become the next Bookman, to take over for Gramps. He couldn’t give it up for anyone, not even Allen.

And that thought, the Bookman rhetoric that had been ingrained in his head since he’d become Bookman’s apprentice, turned his stomach sour. He would have to leave them all behind at some point, just like he’d left every other persona he’d taken on in years past.

He would have to leave Allen.

Allen wasn’t like the other people he’d met in all his travels. Something inside him shined brightly, iridescent. Lavi had never seen such a pure soul as Allen’s, and the more he got to know him, the more he had expected the mask to slip, the more he realized this was Allen, at his core. Caring. Self-sacrificing. Determined. Unflinching in his ideals.

And, God, Lavi didn’t know if he could let him go…

He reached out, hand curling in the fabric of Allen’s shirt. He pulled him closer. “…I don’t want to lose you either.” The words felt like syrup on Lavi’s tongue, thick and heavy, but finally saying them aloud left his heart lighter.

Allen rested his hands on Lavi’s shoulders, tentative in his touch. His face twisted with uncertainty and hesitation. “Lavi?” he asked, voice small and quiet. Lavi looked up at him, heart in his throat. “…May I kiss you again?”

Lavi didn’t reply, his tongue too tied up to form the words. Instead, he grabbed Allen’s shirt collar, and pulled him down the scarce few inches for their lips to meet once more. If they were to be pulled apart by death or circumstance, Lavi wasn’t about to let this feeling in his chest simmer, slowly boiling his heart alive. He wanted to feel it, to embrace the emotions warring in him. He wanted this fire to burn him, consume him, until he was nothing but useless ash and bones.

Allen had been right—it was better to confess now before they lost their chance to indulge in it.

His mouth was soft and hot against Lavi’s, wetter than the air around them. The sweltering heat they’d been living with all day was nothing compared to the fire in Allen’s mouth. Lavi let out the softest groan, unable to hold back. Allen’s hands tightened on his shoulders, and he pressed in closer between Lavi’s legs, until his knees hit the edge of the bed.

Allen’s hand curled around Lavi’s neck, cupping his sweaty skin and toying with the soft hairs at the base. Everything smoldered between them in that wet heat, each touch and caress and brush of skin on skin. It overwhelmed Lavi, his pulse racing, blood pumping so fast he thought it might burst through his veins.

Lavi wasn’t sure if Allen nudged him backwards or if he moved of his own accord, but either way he found himself on his back with Allen crawling on top of him. They moved together on the bed, legs intertwined as they continued kissing. Once they settled amongst the damp sheets, Lavi reached up and slipped his fingers through Allen’s hair. The white strands were tangled, still a mess from their earlier battle with the Akuma. They were both sweaty, covered in dirt and blood, but in the moment, Lavi couldn’t muster up the will to care.

Allen was still kissing him, still slid up between his legs, and Lavi could care of nothing else.

When Allen’s hips lined up with his, he felt the press of their mutual arousals. Lavi whined into their kiss, his hips bucking up at the contact. Allen hesitated then, and after a short moment, pulled away to look down at him.

“Lavi, are you… how far do you want to take this right now. I don’t want to rush you. Besides, you’re injured.”

The question shot a much needed burst of reality into Lavi. He took a few deep breaths to cool his heated blood, staring up at Allen’s flushed face. He knew he should have agreed to take it slower, to not jump headfirst into whatever this relationship was with Allen. But hadn’t Allen alluded not moments ago that there was no secure future for either of them? This was war, after all, and Lavi knew there was an end date to this, even if he didn’t want to let go. Why wait, when tomorrow either of them could be dead? Why wait, when they were both living on borrowed time?

Lavi smoothed a hand across Allen’s cheek, thumb caressing over his sweaty skin. He smiled reassuringly. “I’m fine. And, we’ve got this room all to ourselves for the night. It would be a shame to waste it.”

Allen looked like he wanted to argue, but pursed his lips instead. He took a slow, soft breath before leaning in and kissing Lavi once more. His lips were more insistent than before, and Lavi felt his tongue invade his mouth. As the kiss deepened, Allen rocked his hips into Lavi’s, easy and methodical. Lavi couldn’t help but moan into the kiss, his hands reaching out and grabbing hold of Allen to keep himself grounded.

They kept kissing, deep and needy with each passing second, and Lavi grew more and more entranced by Allen’s lips. Soft, yet firm, his kisses were like the sweetest wine—he wanted to drink and drink and drink until he could feel nothing but the buzz of Allen in his mouth. Intoxicated with desire. Drunk on this burning passion eating him up from the inside out.

Allen’s right hand slipped low between them and unbuttoned Lavi’s pants with a deft touch before undoing his own. He quietly fumbled with their underwear until he had both their erections in his hand. Lavi gasped into their kiss at the touch, his hips jerking up in surprise, seeking more delicious friction.

“Al—”

“Just this for tonight,” Allen mumbled pressing his face into Lavi’s neck. His breath was hot on already sweaty, sticky skin, but it left a shiver rolling down Lavi’s back regardless.

Lavi nodded, unable to argue or beg for more. He couldn’t do much more than hastily nod in agreement as Allen’s delicate fingers smoothed over his skin. He closed his eye, head tilted back against the blankets, and tightened his grip on Allen.

Allen kissed over his neck, licking along his exposed skin as he pumped his fist over their mutual arousals. Exquisite noises rumbled up Allen’s throat, tickling Lavi’s flesh as they vibrated against him—moans and mewls so soft and savory that Lavi wanted to swallow them whole. He’d never seen Allen this worked up, and the loss of control was contagious. Lavi ran his hands up the back of Allen’s shirt, hands sliding over sweaty, slick flesh as Allen continued to tease them.

“Al, _aah_ —fuck,” Lavi groaned out, pulling Allen closer. His stomach was in knots already, tight and hot and ready to burst. It was too soon, too soon. He didn’t want this moment to end.

“Lavi, you feel so good,” Allen whispered against his ear before taking the pierced lobe into his mouth and rolling it on his tongue.

“Y-You, too.” Lavi panted, already lost in the moment. He nuzzled his cheek against Allen’s, mouth hanging open as he tried to catch his breath. The continuous pump of Allen’s hand as he jerked them off together was more than he could handle, precum oozing from both their tips and coating their lengths in the substance. Allen’s hand moved like magic, tender and strong at the same time.

Allen sucked in a gasp, dropping Lavi’s earlobe from his lips as his own hips thrust down. Lavi groaned at the additional pressure. They curled up against each other, Allen’s hand working faster and faster, bringing them bother closer to completion with each precious second that ticked by.

Finally, Lavi felt Allen falter first. He groaned, muscles tightening and hips jerking to their own time. The heat between them grew, and he felt Allen’s cum slide down their shafts, over his stomach. Lavi couldn’t take another moment, and came as well. The mess of their spilled seed left them both stickier than before, underwear and pants stained and dirtied. As the high faded, Allen collapsed against Lavi’s chest and pulled his soiled hand away. He panted, breath puffing over Lavi’s neck.

Lavi stared up at the ceiling, heart still racing. His head pounded, blood pulsing against his head wound. He ignored it, pulling an arm around Allen’s shoulders and cradling him closer. He sighed, a laugh on his lips as he wiped at his face with his free hand. “Fuck me.”

“I think I just did.”

Rolling his eye, Lavi tried to look down at Allen, but could only see a mass of white hair. “You okay?”

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that? You’re the injured one.”

“I think your nimble fingers cured me,” Lavi joked, pressing a quick kiss to the top of Allen’s head. “I feel fucking amazing.”

Allen chuckled and shook his head, but didn’t try to get off of Lavi. “I doubt that, but I’ll take the flattery.” He was quiet for a moment, then shifted, tucking his cum-stained hand to his chest. “We should probably clean up. We’re a mess.”

“Mm. In a minute.” Lavi kept staring up at the ceiling, absently stroking Allen’s hair as they both caught their breath. Bodies cooled, heart rates calmed, and the dirty, sticky feeling came back as the weight of their activities came crashing down.

As much as he knew this was a bad idea, that it would hurt like a son of a bitch when he had to leave, Lavi couldn’t bring himself to regret it. They had set something in motion now, something deep and longing. Something that ached in Lavi’s heart, the heart he wasn’t supposed to have. This was the beginning of something, but he couldn’t tell if this was a mistake or the best decision he’d ever made. Either way, one thing was clear—

Lavi had fallen into Allen’s light, and he could never escape.


End file.
